You know the moment. You said something reasonable, and the room changed. Arms cross. Someone answers a question you did not ask.
The conversation is going sideways, and the instinct is to push harder: explain again, a little louder, with more detail.
Proverbs points the other way. A soft answer turns anger aside. A harsh word stirs anger up.
The idea. Listening is the first step of the LEADS Path, and listening matters most when a conversation turns. Four moves help. Pause: stop talking, in the middle of a sentence if you must. Listen: ask what the person heard, not what you meant. Observe: watch faces, posture, and who went quiet. Adjust: change your approach, not your goal. The four moves work with one person or a full room, and they matter most across cultures, generations, and departments, where the same words do not land the same way.
The action for this week. The next time a conversation turns, say out loud, “Let me stop. What did you hear me say?” Then be quiet until the person has finished.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”Proverbs 15:1, ESV
Jake
P.S. For the minute before a hard meeting, use the Three Questions.